Old drawing from watching a scenary
I’m stuck inside myself
I wanna get out
Or let someone in
I just don’t know how
Won’t you please help me?
I’m waiting for you
I’m afraid and lost
But you never show up
Surrounded by people
With God in my heart
Don’t you know I’m all alone?
Without you by my side
Old doodle of mine
Ok, I know I’m not the only lonely person out there, but I just noticed something that made gloom captions appear over my head in a black cloud. Now, I am again worried for my heart’s future; sad face. I belong to the population of awkward people who grew up, and still pretty much live, in their room watching television or studying. So I have vast experience watching human interaction, yet have realized that practice is essential in this department. However, prolonged lack of practice in said area has gotten me in somewhat of a 40 Year Old Virgin situation. Not the being a virgin part, though it also applies, but the fact Continue reading
Vacant heart
Vacant but full
Full of gloom
Masochist heart
You don’t feel love
You don’t feel joy
But you do ache
Oh, you’re so coy
I’ve decided it might be a good idea to give blogging a try. You see, I have noticed that I’m getting too cooped up in my own head and too comfortable in the lack of anxiety provided by secluding myself from people as to ignore my social awkwardness. Because of this seclusion I am really not very good at expressing myself verbally. I can speak just fine, what I mean is that I have trouble letting people know how I feel about important things or about things that they might not understand or expect from me. These, emotions, are the things that have heavy troubles coming out of my mouth. I express myself better in writing, probably because I have time to organize my thoughts and because it is private since I never show my writing to anybody. That is until a few days ago when I got the courage to show a friend a few very old poems that I had written and she said they were good, though I will admit I had edited them recently. So I’ve decided to try to find an outlet to start expressing myself in front of people, in a way, since you cannot really see me and NikitaRocKy is, obviously, not my real name.
In conclusion, this is basically my means of communicating with the outside world in a way that I will feel more comfortable. I want to ask for pardon if there are any grammatical errors. English is not my first language, though for some reason I tend to use it more in writing. If you would like to know more about Nikita there is an “about me” section in here somewhere. I would like to encourage you to read one of my writings before you decide whether you want to read more or you never want to enter this blog again :-.)
Feel free to comment if you are interested in letting me know what you think about my writing or the blog or if you want to say anything else. Thank you for your time and happy internet surfing.
In my trippy music playlist on iTunes there is a lot of music that to me is GOLD. I wanted to share some in case there are more people out there who like “weird” music, as some might consider it. I don’t remember where I found most of these guys, probably from a soundtrack or I found the title interesting in an internet search of some other band. Anyway, I’ve come to love them; I find they have kind of a mellow feeling. I really enjoy them and I highly recommend them if you like weird music. If you’ve heard them, or hear them now, and you don’t like them then I’m truly sorry for wasting your time. Not really; I’m smiling right now. If you’ve heard them, or hear them now and you like them, then GREAT! I thought I was alone on that. So, here they are:
Mumford and Sons, I would describe them as a mix of Country with Irish and I don’t know what else. Wikipedia says that “Mumford & Sons are a British folk rock band.” I really like the singer’s voice, and the music is interesting and sometimes just… delicious. A few of their songs I like most are Timshel, Little Lion Man, and Thistle and Weeds.
Laura Marling, I heard at the soundtrack for something, and she is also quite “mellow” (sorry for the lack of vocabulary, if you know a better word let me know). Actually, she also has a couple songs with Mumford and Sons, but I have very few of her songs: Blackberry stone, Don’t ask me why, Roll away your stone, and Ghost.
Rodrigo y Gabriela, these I really love. It is just a guy and girl playing extremely good music with just their guitars. If it sounds boring, just give it a listen, seriously. They are just too talented, too good. Or maybe it’s just me, but I have nine of their songs and I can’t tell you which I like most. I’ll only mention a couple though: Libertango, Ixtapa, Diablo Rojo, Buster and Voodoo.
Now, to stop boring people, I’ll just mention a couple other artists that I have very few songs of. Songs not many people might like, but that I really do.
Clint Mansell from the Smocking Aces Soundtrack
Damien Rice the entire “O” CD
Eddie Beram – Riot In Thunder Alley (from the Grindhouse Soundtrack)
Joao Gilberto – ‘S Wonderful (Eat Pray Love Soundtrack)
Foo Fighters the entire 2nd CD of In Your Honor
August Rush Soundtrack – If I remember well, the entire CD
Solomon Burke – None of us are free (jaja – heard it while watching House MD)
Peter Gabriel – My Body is a Cage (also in House MD)
And the list can go on. These are just some of my favorite, unusual music. I also have plenty of mainstream music but I have written enough and there is just too much. Maybe next time I’ll share some.
Hey friend
Welcome to my world
I know it’s scary to feel alone
Just know you’re not the only one
Don’t know what’s wrong with you
Do you know what’s wrong with me?
Please tell me, Cuz no one else will
They say it’s just low self esteem
Actually, only I like me
It’s not a riddle
But my brain is twisted in
I’m stuck inside myself, Are you?
I’ve gotta get out; or do you wanna come in?
Ah! I have entered a new stage in life. I am in living limbo. Last week I was in limbo, but that one was justified by the fact that my life was on hold until I got the test results that let me know whether I could be a professional with a license or if I, was screwed and, had to take the test again. Those days I only vegetated in my bed with the internet television as my company, and I reasoned that my hands were tied since I did not have a professional license yet. Even though I knew I could have actually been doing productive things to begin my career once I got my license, as many other peers did. However, few days ago I got the test results and I passed. Yes! Yes? Bah… I guess that I’m whining again, but I don’t like this new stage of life. I am sure it is really great, but I am kind of scared. I am not quite confident about how prepared I really am to start a job with a high level of responsibility. That is probably because I tend to run away from it; which I don’t recommend given the current emotional circumstances. If you are like me, Continue reading
Corazón vacío
Vacío pero lleno
Lleno de nada
Lleno de miedo
Corazón masoquista
No sientes amor
No sientes alegría
Pero si dolor
Dolor y agonía
